Patient Zero

I've got a story for you today kiddies. It's a Doozy. And, as all my stories are, it's 100% true.

Sitting around being sick made me think about the time when I was my sickest. I mean SICK!

It was the summer of 2001, the same summer I told you about, where I was partying and driving around aimlessly without a care or responsibility in the world.

I was in North Carolina staying with a couple of friends, having a good time. I almost moved down there, it was so beautiful. The fresh crisp air made thoughts of Jersey fade away...

I started to get a wicked headache. A headache that you could never imagine. It was so painful that I spent 2 days in tears and screaming from the hurt. I also experienced brief fits of rage and anger towards anyone in my path.

Once I lost the ability to turn my neck, I became partially paralyzed. The pain was unbelievably strong.

I don't do doctors. However, it all became too unbearable. Obviously, there was something seriously wrong with me.

I dragged myself over to the Wake Forest Med ER in Raleigh, N.C.

I was writhing in pain, and shouting at security guards, and nurses in the department. So they took me back.

Once I gave them my symptoms, they were 99% sure of my diagnosis. 5 other people had already been brought in with the same.

To be sure, I was administered a Spinal Tap. Loads of fun all around. They take a very, very, long needle and insert it into your spine. Then they extract Spinal fluid for testing. You have to be very careful who does this because if they screw up, you could become paralyzed.

Viral Meningitis.

My brain fluid and spine were infected with a virus.

It is not nearly as bad as Bacterial Meninigitis, but there is still a 10% chance of death.

Everyday they came into my secluded room with masks on to test and make sure it was not Bacterial, which is highly contagious and very deadly.

Days went by. All alone in a state where I had no family. My infected mind began to grow restless.

On the fourth day, I had had enough. I snuck out of my room and went downstairs to the payphone and looked up a TaxiCab service in the Phone Book.

Before packing my belongings, I glanced at the IV pierced through the veins of my arms.

Carefully, I ripped them out and left them behind.

The cops were after me. They came to the house and the doctors started calling. I was to return to the hospital or face prosecution.

If I had Bacterial Meningitis, I could infect others with a potentially deadly illness, and that was a crime.

After awhile, the doctor came clean and told me that they were pretty sure that I had Viral and not Bacterial Meningiitis and that the hospital stay was only a precaution.

He made me a deal that I could stay home but that if any of the gadzillion tests came back Positive for Bacteria, that a Sheriff would be back to pick me up.

I wasted no time.

My friend thought that I was still contagious (I wasn't) and punched me square in the face.

I packed my things and drove home. The 8 hour ride only took 5.5 hours because I was speeding at 110-120 miles per hour the entire ride.

I gotta admit, I went a little crazy. My brain was infected and irrational.

Don't ever complain to me about a headache.